My Responsibility
by Slea
Summary: spoiler from 33 please do not read if you have not seen the show or do not wish to see spoilers from the series


My Responsibility

By Cyndi "Wingnut" Smith

Spoiler Alert "33"

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica 2003 is the creation of Glen A. Larson and Ronald Moore. The characters in the story are the property of Glen A. Larson and Ronald Moore. Battlestar Galactica 2003 is copyright of the Sci Fi Channel. Battlestar Galactica is a trademark and copyright of Universal Studios. No copyright infringement

intended. No profit is gained by this work. (I did infringe this disclaimer from IO) Basically if you wish to sue me, please pay me first so that I can have something to pay you with. Thank you.

My Responsibility

By Cyndi "Wingnut" Smith

"Mark"

The word caught in my throat like a fish bone. The picture is burned in the back of my mind. The sky lit up and the cockpit seemed to bathe in the heat from the nuclear wash. It seemed like hours maybe even days but it was only moments until I heard Boomer's voice break through the fog and over the comm.. "Captain Adama?" I am not sure how many times I heard that or if I really even heard it at all. Then Kara's concern voice echoed in my ears. "Lee?"

"Boomer..." I acknowledged quietly "Let command know... mission accomplished. We are returning to Galactica." There seemed to be no air in my lungs nor effort in my words they just slipped out and suddenly it was as if the rest of me just shut down.

I don't remember the landing or the Galactica's last jump I was totally unaware of the tech that was removing the O2 line from my helmet but he must have because I do remember walking way from the attempt by Kara to get me to talk. I just continued to walk away I felt nothing and to say I was numb seems to say that there was an awareness of feeling somewhere but there wasn't, At least not until I found myself in flight ready room revamping the schedule. Twice I have written down the names of pilots that were lost during one of the earlier attacks, hell I have even written down three members of my squad on the Atlantia. I was just erasing that flub up when the Commander came in. I gave a quick glance in his direction. At that point he was an intruder in my solitude, a quick acknowledgement that he was there and I when back to the schedule.

"Sir," I said quietly. I think the response was more instinctive than anything else.

Kara must have said something to the commander because I think he called me 'son.'.

I refuse to turn my head I just hoped he would excuse himself like he did me when I wanted to talk to him after the funeral, but he was still there I could hear his breath feel the heat of his body even at this distance just like when the Olympia erupted. I continued to write.

"I gave the order," I heard him say. "It was my responsibility" The familiarity was gone back in its places was the consonant military man.

"NO" My mind screamed. I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream and yell and stomp my feet like a child. Anything to remind him I was his son... not just one of his men, but not him. Always the damned Military officer, is it really possible to shut the world on and off at will? Is that what I am going to have to do in order to survive? OK, yes you gave the order and that was your call your responsibility but in the end when I confront God, I will have to answer for my actions.

I turned towards my commander and I acknowledged that I too knew my responsibility.

"I pulled the trigger" I told him only glancing away from the board for a moment "that's mine."

The quiet returned to the room I was afraid to look up trying desperately to look as if I was busy, Lords help me if he actually looks at my writing. Eventually the door closed and my mind clicked back on. . Now what was I doing ... oh yea the roster. Looking up at the board I reviewed the names, there were so few and yet I knew someone was missing. Once again the faces passed through my mind, So many faces some of them no longer on the roster. so many of them no more than that quick flash of memory and others who i have yet to learn their names and even wonder if I should even bother. My new squad, my team, my responsibility. Than the young pilot's face popped into the back of my mind. "oh yea ... the kid...What was his name .oh I remember ....."MARK"


End file.
